I would like to pass on this law
to any demagogue that might be reading (any literate demagogue,
THE STUPID LAW
Deoch 10, 1st Moon.
The legal code of this village no longer sanctions stupidity.
For the purposes of the Stupid Law, stupidity is defined
as the lack of basic intelligence and cognitive reasoning
required to carry on intelligible conversation and effectively
perform day-to-day tasks with dignity and understanding.
Encapsulated under the term “stupidity” are
also the actions of dumbosity, unsmartness, intelligence
lackification, imbecility, moronicity, idiocy, retardation,
brainlessness, and a condition called Hopeless Simpletonism.
Each of these encapsulates both acute and minor degrees.
Despite what you might think, the Stupid Law is not subjective.
The Stupid Law is so grand in that it applies to those
who are so stupid that anyone with any intelligence would
see their stupidity, and those that do not see their stupidity
are stupid and should be arrested.
The following are telltale signs of a person out to break
Inability to articulate polysyllabic words and complex
Drool dripping off a large sword.
Preachiness coupled with hypocrisy.
Shiny armor and expensive equipment coupled with mysterious
lack of past and/or accomplishments.
Laziness in public office.
Anyone exhibiting these signs should be kept under close
surveillance for a period of ten to twenty-five seconds
to determine if it is a lapse of uncommon stupidity or
a general behavioral pattern. Then, to the guard’s
best judgement, a first offense should be given a polite
warning, such as:
“Pardon me, sir/madam, but you are being incredibly
dumb and are in violation of the Stupid Statute of Deoch
10, Law #[whatever]”
If they respond with “huh???”, arrest them.
If they are polite, but issue signs of stupidity later,
arrest them. If they ask “What Stupid Law?”
or say “That Stupid Law’s stupid”, or
“ur stupid”, or “[CENSORED]”,
all verly likely responses, an arrest is in order.
This is the only law this village really needs.
END STUPID LAW.
Watch me become a demagogue and enact this myself someday.
»Arne Gustaf Swanberg
Ughdarras an Lagha
(“The Long Arm Of The Law”)